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2001-12-20 - 4:20 p.m.
hi kids
i haven't been saying much lately, at least not what i think of as useful. Here are some thoughts about me:
i feel hungry all the time.
not just physically but mentally.
but i have allowed myself to be too jaded to develop a taste for anything good, real or true. now, when someone gives me something good, real or true i don't know what to do with it. i let it sit there on my plate and grow stale. this is foolish.
i am untrusting.
i don't trust myself. i am suspicious of other people. i want to be smarter, further ahead, and expectant of every action and reaction. this is unreasonable.
i don't want to believe that any of this is my fault.
but, who else could it be?