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2002-03-04 - 5:08 p.m.
i have allergies and sometimes they cause my lungs to become disgusting pools of viscous green phlegm. then i spend a lot of time coughing. today i got tired of coughing and in a fit of rage decided to conduct inhumane experiments on my own mucous. you are probably thinking this is more than you want to know. you're right. so i coughed up a lovely green nugget into a tissue and took it to the bathroom. using a pair of tweezers i extracted the nugget from the kleenex and deposited it into a bath of isopropyl rubbing alcohol (70% solution). then i waited. watched and waited. i poked and prodded the nugget as the alcohol slowly leeched away the cheery green color. i extracted it from the alcohol bath and tested for stickiness and then re-submerged it. i may have chanted. then i got bored and poured it down the drain. i found the experience cathartic. i take a certain joy in killing bacteria. when i have infected cuts i dump on capfuls of alcohol, peroxide and iodine, tingling with joy as my flesh sizzles under the harsh chemicals. i know this is purging only psychologically. but i hate to feel colonized.