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2002-04-02 - 6:04 p.m.

things are changing. i know it will all happen at once now. a flood.

i am looking forward to almost nothing. if you want the honest truth. this is not what i planned, this is not what i dreamed, this is not what i envisioned. i am angry. and i complain about it in my diary, too much perhaps. but i fucking smile, people. i work at my life. and i'm not half-assed about it. i will not be sold short. so i keep asking, i keep thinking, i keep trying. i want to know. and so far i haven't quit.

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