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2003-07-18 - 11:50 a.m.
Now for a less obtuse entry.
BART was late today.
I slept most of the way except for about 10 minutes when I awakened to a round-cheeked little girl staring at me with impossible chocolate eyes.
My back hurts. As does my right shoulder and my neck. I hurt 24 hours a day now and I know I should go to the doctor...but to what end?
I am alone in my house this weekend. The downstairs neighbors have moved out as has one of my roommates. The other roommate is out of town. So last night I walked into the kitchen in my underwear and did my laundry at midnight and played my music loud and realized how nice it was to have some free space.
I love being alone.
I am alone more and more as I grow older.
I wonder if I will become insane -- wandering, mumbling, crying and giggling in my inconceivable universe.
This is what drives me to "participate" though I know you can all see how half-assed I am about it.
Contradiction: I love being alone. Please do not leave me alone.
My true love is the contradiction.