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2003-11-07 - 11:25 a.m.
Last night I went to the circus. (How-de-doo VIP Press Pass, pleased to meet cha!)
I was only vaguely interested in going this year as last year's show was sort of a disappointment, full of mistakes with an apathetic crowd. I also didn't have a VIP pass which, as it turns out, makes a difference.
So after running through the rain in my stupid shoes and ridiculous pirate-girl skirt I stood shaking the droplets off my hair in the foyer of the press tent. I happily accepted a glass of champagne, then a glass of merlot, then about a hundred tiny hors d'ouvres and snacklets, none of which were tasty (!?!?). We found Chad and I tried to get him to play the "who is actually important in this crowd" game though he was already playing the "let's try to find someone who is straight in this crowd" game so we played that one instead. We giggled as people turned their noses up at each other and put on airs about their jobs as Second-in-command-executive-intra-editorial-assistant-to-the-publisher and such.
I vaguely wanted a hot dog.
A screaming midget in evening wear used an excessive French accent to convey that the show was starting and I downed my glass of cheap merlot in three gulps before being ushered to my incredible, really, really good seat in the front section.
A clown in giant orange pants engaged JoAnna and I in a popcorn fight. We surrendered when he dumped approximately 3,000 pounds of salty and slightly greasy popcorn over our heads as the spotlight shined on us. After removing most of the popcorn from inside my bra and brushing off JoAnna's back we settled into watching a parade of lavish costumes and even more lavish performances. Tumblers, spinners, contortionists and trapeeze artists performed feats that made the woman behind us, and most of the audience, scream, holler and utter strange combinations of awe-struck profanity: "Mother-SHIT-Oh-GOD!" I giggled like a schoolgirl through most of the first half of the show, clasping my hands in front of my mouth and wiggling in my seat. When the tumblers executed perfect weightless synchronicity on the trampolines I leaned over to JoAnna and said, "This makes me so happy!"
I am still trying to figure out how to install a trapeeze in my bedroom.
At intermission we went back to the tent for an array of gorgeous tiny desserts and more libation. I stuffed my face with little lemon bars, tiny eclairs and profiteroles, mini cheesecakes and tartlets. I downed another glass of whatever-it-was. I laughed a lot and said a lot of stupid things which is what I do when I am happy, full of dessert and drunk.
I still wanted that hot dog.
So I made JoAnna go out into the rain with me and into the regular concession tent where I paid $5 to eat a tube of meat with ketchup. I scarfed the rest of my hot dog in my seat, mounds of popcorn pooling about my feet, while a man with incredible muscle control and a really cute smile did amazing things that I can not accurately describe with words. The finale of the show was a little anti-climactic. It involved a lot of impressive preparation with a net but not a whole lot of interesting tricks. This is, of course, all relative when you consider the immense talent that is required to tour with this circus.
After a standing ovation and an excess of clapping that caused my palms to smart we pushed through the crush of people and rushed through the rainy parking lot to Pier 48 for the after party.
We were greeted with lots of pretty people on stilts, seductive costumes and more food. I grabbed a tiny Chinese-takeout-style box full of noodles and some chopsticks and lounged on one of the couches to watch the pretty people. Chad got me a drink which turned out to be an entire Solo cup of Grey Goose (guess who was sponsoring it) Citron over ice. I did a little research and learned that vodka is very VERY good when it is cold, particularly when served by a battalion of semi-clad circus pretties. I made friends with a guy on stilts. Ok, I actually just made friends with his stilts when he nudged me with them and gave me a wink. Hmmm. I like it when people wink at me. I tried to get a lithe nymph-like girl in a feathered headdress to wink back at me but it didn't work. Ok, maybe I didn't wink at her at all, but I thought I did. Time to lay off the Goose.
On the way back to the car I sang "All By Myself" by Jamie O'Neal with more emotion (and volume) than was probably necessary, particularly since I only know the chorus. JoAnna and Chad's friend Jim joined in.
Back at home I dragged the rain-soaked garbage can up the (37?) stairs into my apartment (is it a flat? what is a flat?) and called Laura.
I'd like to say something deep and meaningful that would illuminate some great lesson that I learned last night but all I can think of is this: I want to go to the circus every day.