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2004-02-18 - 2:28 p.m.
Maybe I have a weak cultural identity because I have little ability to relate to people when they want to participate in social rites of passage.
Sometimes it makes me feel heartless but, hey, it's a family trait. We are all emotionally defunct, just ask anyone I've dated.
Anyway, here's the story:
A family friend is making a memory book for her daughter's graduation and asked my parents and me to come up with a memory to include in the book.
Last night we all sat around the kitchen table with a blank pad of paper and a pen, hating our friend with a passion.
We were quiet for a while until my father said, "Why do people do this crap anyway?"
"Probably the same reason people have weddings," replied my mother.
Then we lapsed into guilty silence.
"Why do I hate this so much?" said my mother. "It's really a lovely idea and I'm sure I would appreciate it if someone did it for me... wouldn't you like it if someone made you a memory book?"
"Yeah, I probably would," I said.
"Well, don't hold your breath 'cause it ain't gonna happen," laughed my mother.
"Don't worry, Mom, I'm not holding my breath," I said. "And don't worry because I'm never going to have a wedding either."
"Well, you can if you want to," she said. "Really, I think it's probably an important thing to do, culturally speaking...don't forego things just because you think they're silly, it ends up meaning something in the end."
Then we had a long dialogue about making sacred things into cheesy public events just for attention and a whole lot of other stuff that's boring unless you're me or my parents.
Perhaps this is why I am so cynical.
We spend a lot of time talking about how love is stupid and maybe that's why I've spent my whole life chasing it.