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2005-01-17 - 11:24 a.m.
I spend a lot of time waiting for things to be over:Work days, phone conversations, parties, friendships, car rides, debts.
I wonder (worry) about this type of logic -- shouldn't I be rushing for things to begin?
How do I take control and MAKE things begin? How do I decide that the future is bright?
Is this diary entry a reflection of my own internal struggles or simply a symptom of this morning's lack of caffeine?
Can I allow myself to live with these small, mediocre, addictions?
Shouldn't I fall for something a little more dynamic, like needles, politics or fists?
Do I have to leave behind everyone I know?
Right now I am tempted.