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2004-06-14 - 12:12 p.m.
If you are in constant need of my approval then you don't deserve to be my friend.
"EW, What a C-U-N-T," you say. I know it.
Admittedly this is a little harsh but I'm saying it anyway because I'm tired.
And no, dear reader, this probably isn't about you, but if you're worried that it is maybe you should do something about it.
A very dear person in my life taught me this lesson, quite unintentionally I think, and I realize that I'm stronger for it.
I'm all about "nice" and I'm all about support, really, I am. Ask around if you doubt it.
But if I tell you I love you or that I like your hat I need you to hear me the first time and internalize it.
Don't try to manipulate me into saying it 400 more times because you're feeling insecure and your ego is starving for attention. You are refusing yourself the right to accept positive feedback from other people and, quite frankly, you're wasting my fucking time.
I have spent my entire life kowtowing to people who need and need and NEED.
What you need is your responsibility. Always.
So, I'm sorry. But I can't give you what you want.
Actually, I've probably already given you what you want and you just didn't notice because you were too busy trying to get more and more and more.
Get your own self-esteem -- I don't have any to share.
Thanks.